Memories of Something Lost
by danoverdeath
Summary: It was Ichigo's worst nightmare, the perfect symbol of what killed his mother that night: a mixture of himself and a hollow. But then again, it's not really the hollow's fault, he just had an unfortunate appearance. So, Ichigo decided to appologise...
1. Memories of Something Lost

**Memories of Something Lost**

"I told you he was weak in the beginning, WHY didn't you believe me??" screamed an angry Hiyori baring her sandal.

"Shaddap! Quit hitting me with that fuckin' sandal Hiyori!" replied an irritated Shinji Hirako.

"Subsitute Shinigami - Kurosaki Ichigo! A.K.A: utter pile of dickcheese that can't admitt he's a vizard and refuses to come to us for help! For fuck's sake Shinji the guy has to redo his inner battle with his hollow NO ONE HAS TO DO THAT!!"

"She has a point Shinji...." commented another vizard, "if we hadn't found him at his school going all hollow that kid would be in deep shit".

"Exactly!" Hiyori claimed, "He didn't even tell us what was going on! After we trained him POOF! dissapeared and then we find him freaking out his classmates and becoming a Hollow!"

"I don't think he knew...about his hollow coming back" said a thoughtful Shinji watching a half-way through hollowfication Ichigo battle with a vizard, "....so he wouldn't have been able to come to us even if he wanted to...."

Meanwhile in Ichigo's inner world Ichigo was wandering around looking for his inner hollow to fight when he heard a deep sigh from behind him.

When he turned around he saw an identical albino copy of himself with a smug grin on his face. His inner hollow.

"Hey, 'ow ya doin'....King" the albino said mocking Ichigo, "I was followin' ya for 'alf an 'our King an' ya still couldn't find me!". Ichigo said nothing. His inner hollow grunted with dissatisfaction and pulled his sword from his back and pointed it at Ichigo. "Ain't ya gonna attack me King!!?!" he shouted at him when Ichigo didn't respond. Ichigo in reply just added to the silence. "Pathetic...what's with ya today King? Usally you'd jump at the chance to gut me!"

"I'm not your King" said a small voice and yet it seemed to echo throughout the inner world.

Ichigo's inner hollow did not know that tone of voice, it was so unfamiliar he barely recgognised it's owner, "What?" the inner hollow said clutching his sword's hilt.

"I said I'm not your King," replied the same voice, Ichigo looked at the yellow and black eyed person infront of him, "and you're not my "Horse" niether".

The albino boy smirked, "Then what am I t' ya then if I'm not that? Well?" the boy began to loose his paitence, "Am I just the son of a bitch that you use because you're so goddamn weak to use your own powers to get you out of your stupid shinigami fights? Well??!!??"

"You're the only person I depend on" he replied simply looking at the boy as if he was stupid. His inner hollow, shocked, looked at him with widened eyes. He tried to retort something back but found that he couldn't, so Ichigo carried on...

"People depend on me not 'cause I'm a shingiami or anything but 'cause they know I'll protect them wether they want me to or not" the red-haired shinigami grabbed a handful of his orange hair and scratched his scalp exhaling deeply, "Rukia and the others constantly get stronger to prove to me that they don't need protecting and I just get stonger so I can protect them. But sometimes my own strength isn't enough and I get in really bad scrapes," he removed his hand from his head and looked at his inner hollow who still looked pretty dumb-founded, "that's when I know I can rely on my mask".

"S--so?" stuttered the albino finally finding his voice.

"The mask is yours, their your powers therefore I'm actually relying on you, Hollow, than the mask" he said simply again looking at his inner hollow; and the albino could see that Ichigo was smiling at him. Not grinning or anything but there was a glint in his eye as he was looking at him with his light brown eyes that made the albino want to smile back but he didn't dare.

So biting his lower lip so that he wouldn't, he spoke, "Don't call me that".

"Call you what?" asked Ichigo.

"Hollow you bastard!" he replied angerly.

"Sorry, what should I call you instead?" Ichigo appologised holding his hands in the air innocently.

".........Shiro..." the inner hollow said gingerly.

"Shiro? That short for something?" Ichigo asked.

"Yeah....it's short for Shirosaki" the albino said slowly looking ashamed.

"S-shiro-sa-saki??" Ichigo repeated with a look of panic on his face.

"Yeah...." Shiro sighed deeply not wanting to say it, "Shirosaki Hichigo is my full name"

"Hichigo?? That so freaky!"

"Hey it's better than Kurosaki Ichigo, who ever thought up that one deserves to be staked!!"

Suddenly there was a huge rumble as buildings in the inner world began to collapse just like they did when Ichigo first met Zangetsu.

"Shit! I've ran out of time!" shouted Ichigo looking at the buildings falling apart.

"Shut yer trap Ichigo!" Ichigo turned to look at Shiro and his eyes widened at the sight of him impaled by his own sword and blood soaking his clothes.

"Sh-Shiro what have you--"

"Shut up!" Shiro shouted as his body began to discintergrate, "This hurts more for me then it does for you so shut it will ya?"

A bright light burst out of his body like the last time Ichigo fought him and when he opened his eyes he saw Hirako looking at him.

"Glad to have you back Ichigo!" he said, "You were actually a full hollow for quite a few seconds there we thought we lost ya!"

"Not bloody likely...." a voice grumbled in Ichigo's head. One all too familiar. Then Ichigo suffered a whack to the back of the head.

"Dickhead!" shouted Hiyori, "Lettin' a even bigger dickhead like your inner hollow push yer around is one way to get ya--"

"Don't call him that" Ichigo interrupted.

"Ichigo if ya tryin' t' get in my good books it ain't gonna work..." said the voice in his head.

Ichigo sniggered, "Wouldn't dream of it Shiro".

Shinji looked at Ichigo seriously, "Ichigo?"

"Yeah?"

"Who's Shiro?"

xXxXxXxXxXx

Ichigo lay in bed that night unable to sleep, how could he? It took him ages to get the vizards off his back about Shiro. If they found out that during his inner battle he didn't defeat him then he was positive they would've made him go back and finish the job. He couldn't do that to Shiro.....not after the way he had treated him.  
He had been training with a group of shinigami a month before, some friends of Rukia and Renji from the Sixth and Thirteenth divisions, and even though they were aware of his ability to use Bankai they scoffed at him and frequently tried to make Ichigo look like a fool. He would hear them saying behind his back things like -

"Who's he?".

"Kurosaki Ichigo".

"Who???".

"You know! That subsitute shinigami".

"You mean the kid who stole a shinigami's powers, caused a riot and went home scott free? Yeah I've heard of him, big deal!".

"You shouldn't put him down! He wounded our captain very seriously with some sort of hidden power".

"Well it's obviously a crappy one 'cause I don't see anyone snapping him up for captain even though he's apparently got some badass Bankai".

"You're right he must suck".

Even though they thought he was so weak they still used him to get stronger themselves, that was what pissed Ichigo off the most. Then he began to think about it and realised maybe how his inner hollow felt, today just proved his suspisions. Shiro's words echoed in Ichigo's head - "Am I just the son of a bitch that you use because you're so goddamn weak to use your own powers to get you out of your stupid shinigami fights?"

Ichigo felt good about what he had said to Shiro and that maybe it would lessen the guilt he felt about treating him that way, but what Shinji and the others, maybe even Shiro himself, didn't know was that Ichigo didn't get weaker allowing his inner hollow to take over him. He called to Shiro, tempting him and luring him, and when the time came Ichigo let him take over him. He didn't want it to be that way but when he went to his inner world his inner hollow would not be there so he couldn't appologise to him. So it had to be that way; it was risky, but it had worked.

But there was something else now worrying Ichigo deeply and saddening him.

He turned onto his side and saw the moonlight seeping through his window, through his curtains and onto his lightly tanned face. He curled his body into a tight ball, entwining the sheets between him, his limbs and the mattress. His stomach ached, pained from just thinking about it, so he snuggled closer into his duvet. Tomorrow, when the sun's bright beams would echo across his town, it would be.....that awful day....again.

"Ichigo" said a voice.

Ichigo lifted himself off of his mattress and turned his head expecting one of his sisters. But when he looked he saw this person was too tall to be Yuzu or Karin, so he looked up. Above him was a pale snowy white figure with demonic yellow eyes.

"Sh-Shiro?"

"You're worryin' 'bout somethin'," said Ichigo's inner hollow avoiding eye contact with the teenager lying in bed, "Ichigo".

"How did you--"

"I can't bloody sleep when ya fretting over somethin'" he growled.

"You can't?" Ichigo asked in disbelief.

"Course I can't! I'm ya inner hollow so I can hear yer thoughts 24/7 asswipe!" Shiro shouted at Ichigo fired up and pissed off. "So?"

"So?" Ichigo replied confused.

"ARE YA GONNA TELL ME WHAT'S THE FUCKIN' MATTER WI' YA OR WHAT!!!" howled an irritated Shiro.

"Don't shout! Someone might hear you!" Ichigo said in an attempt to calm him down.

"I'm your inner hollow so you're the only one who can hear me dumbass" Shiro sighed. He then sat down on Ichigo's bed next to his feet, "Spill it Kurosaki before I get bored".

Ichigo sat up fully on the mattress and breathed in deeply before starting, "Tommorow is the annerversary of my mother's death".

"How did she die?" Shiro asked carefully probing the worried teen.

"Murdered," he said looking at his hands tightly grasping the duvet around his feet; his face crumpled into a mixture of pure hate and anger, "by a hollow".

That word echoed in Shiro's head like he had his head stuck in a bell and Ichigo was banging the outside over and over making Shiro's head hurt. Shiro gazed at Ichigo's face with a blank expression. To be honest it scared Shiro seeing Ichigo so angry about a hollow. Was that why he became a shinigami? For revenge? If so did Ichigo feel that way about all hollows. Did he feel that way about him? But what really bugged Shiro was if Ichigo did hate him, why did it bother him so much?

"I was a kid," Ichigo continued unaware of Shiro's own worries, "but if I hadn't fallen for that sicko's trick then maybe she'd still be alive. I thought it'd be easier to get over it now I know that I didn't kill her and it wasn't my fault but...." the boy's inner hollow saw something on Ichigo's cheek glisten in the moonlight, it was like a diamond, it then began to fall and it shattered on Ichigo's clenched hands, it was then followed by many more diamonds that each shattered on Ichigo's hands. Shiro then knew he had seen enough and before he could stop himself he grabbed both sides of Ichigo's face and launching the last of his tear droplets into the air surrounding them.

Ichigo's hair was completely out of the way of his eyes so Shiro's hopes of not making eye contact with him had just been dramatically shattered. The demonic gaze burned into the teen's luscious brown eyes. Shiro's nails dug into the shinigami's cheek and upper jaw bone. Ichigo looked at Shiro his eyes wide with shock.

"Ichigo, you were a kid, you couldn't do anything even if you tried"

"I could've-- " Ichigo protested even though he knew all was impossible because everything blacked out before he saw the hollow.

"Ichigo you couldn't save ya mum and even if you could ya didn't," the hollow  
interrupted, "let's face the facts, ya ain't gonna get over her death, but ya can get over the fact that ya couldn't do fuck all and ya didn't do anythin' niether"

"Shiro...." Ichigo murmered in reply.

"It's in the past" Shiro said ignoring him. He then smirked and continued "so bloody get over it and go to sleep bastard!"

"And if I don't?" the boy grunted in return.

Shiro's smirk widened into a full blown grin as he shoved Ichigo down hard onto the mattress, held a fist in the air and pinned Ichigo down with his free hand, "If ya don't I'll put ya into a coma, then you'll quit worryin'!!"

But Shiro didn't have to put Ichigo into a coma because when he looked at the teen below him he saw that Ichigo was lying down with his eyes closed wether it was because he had fallen asleep at last or Shiro pushed him against the mattress far too hard and he really was in a coma, but when albino saw this he sighed as if to say "that dumbass" and relaxed his limbs and thought to himself "No matter what ya say won't change a thing Ichigo, I'm still ya Horse and you're still the King maybe not of your world but definately of mine, Kurosaki Ichigo..."

Then Shiro's eyes couldn't stay open any longer. He needed sleep.......now....

xXxXxXxXxXx

**"Ichi-nii?"**

"Yeah?"

**"Mama loves us....right..."**

"Of course she does!"

**"Then why won't she come back!"**

".........."

**"I miss her Ichi-nii........I miss her..."**

_"I miss you too"_

**"Mama?!"**

"Mum?!"

_"Ichigo..."_

"Mum are you--?"

_"No Ichigo"_

"Then how are you--?"

_"Ichigo, listen to me, he's close."_

"Who is?"

_"Your protector...."_

"My....protector?"

_"He is fading from you. Bring him closer to you Ichigo"_

_~A feather?~_

_"He will help you...only he knows how"_

_~So soft against my skin....so white and pure...~_

_"You must make him believe in his emotions, Ichigo"_

_~How when he has none?~_

_"Believe in him Ichigo, and he will believe in himself"_

****

Ichigo's eyes slowly opened with the feel of the feather from his dream still on his face. As his eyes blurred into focus he saw what the light feathery touch on his face really was....

It was the soft white hair of his inner hollow brushing against his face while he slept with his eyes gently shut his nose inches from Ichigo's face.

When Ichigo realised this his eyes snapped open, throwing away the rest of his sleepyness, and sat straight up with shock.

Staing at the sleeping albino Ichigo struggled to remember what had happened earlier that meant his inner hollow was sleeping in the same bed as him. He remembered his talk with Shiro, him beginning to cry and then---Oh god no! Thinking more rapidly, picking up the pace. Surely when Shiro took a hold of his face he didn't.....he didn't want to think of what his hollow might of done to him...

Then the last of the sleep wore off and Ichigo remembered Shiro telling him to get over it and go to sleep and then after threatening to put him into a coma if he didn't Ichigo fell asleep. The orange haired teenager sighed with relief that nothing had...well you know...._happened._

Shiro was still sleeping, deeply. Ichigo was surprised by how calm and, in a way, sweet Shiro looked. I mean if you saw some guy who tried to kill you on numerous occasions chewing up _your_duvet you'd smile too. Right?

Shiro shivvered on top of the duvet and began to snuggle into the only real warmth in the bed. Ichigo.

"Oh no you don't!" Ichigo cried out and lunged towards the end of the bed away from Shiro and slid off. His bare feet touched the carpet and he began to walk towards his closet where Rukia had first slept when they met two years ago. He slid the door open and pulled out a spare duvet that he used when it was cold in the winter. He then walked over to Shiro and put the duvet over him to keep him warm. "Next time you do something like that you perv' I swear I'll suffocate you with this duvet." Ichigo hissed in the albino's ear.

But then Ichigo's threats to the snoozing hollow where interrupted when his subsitute shinigami badge began to glow. "I'll be back" he promised to the albino in his bed. He then picked up a badge with a skull on it that was resting on his desk. He pressed the badge to his chest and he began to feel himself lift out of his body, up into the air and then landed on the floor under him. His body, in return, slumped to a kneeling position beside the bed with his head buried in Shiro's duvet.  
Ichigo standing tall and strong in a baggy, black shinigami uniform spoke in a demanding voice a one syllable word, "Kon". In a reply to this the orange haired subsitute shinigami heard a quiet murmer. Something about sending Ichigo to the darkest depths of hell and throwing away the key. This was enough for Ichigo to locate the one by the name "Kon". The teen, almost intinctively, pulled open a draw in his desk and grabbed a plush doll and threw is across the room so hard that it hit the opposite wall with an enormous thump.

"What was that for, Ichigo you bastard!!?!" the angry plushy lion screamed at the red head.

"Stop whining, I'm going out so look after my body will ya?" said Ichigo with his arms folded across his chest.

"Hmph! Ya always go out Ichigo, take a break man..." Kon complaining rolling his black plastic eyes.

"Listen here you!" Ichigo pointed at the sarcastic teddy, "I can't help it if hollows want a midnight snack, it is my job to stop them you know!"

Shiro whined in his sleep at the sound of the two irritated voices shouting next to him. He the curled into a tight ball like a cat, wrapping the duvet around him.

Kon's face flared with panic, "Ich-chigo there's s-something--"

"Shut up you coward, just let him sleep and he won't bother you." said the boy looking at the pale white haired figure snuggled into his own body warmth and also that of the shinigami watching him that still clung to the sheets.

"_He?_ Ichigo has someone sleeping in the same bed as him who's a HE??!!?"

"What? It's not like that!" Ichigo shouted looking away from the sleeping teen in his bed.

"Well, I should have guessed really...." Kon said ignoring Ichigo completely, "Geez...Ririn's gonna be upset..."

"What are you-- you know what I'm just gonna leave" said the slightly crimson teen. Ichigo turned towards the bed and with one push from his right foot he launched into the air and floated over Shiro and the bed through the open window.

"See ya later, Ichihomo~" Kon called after the shinigami, teasing him.

"I'll kill you one of these days I swear!" he shouted back his crimson blush deepening and getting more passionate in tone.

Kon couldn't resist, "Ichigay, if you don't hide that blush then people really will think that you're--"

"SHUT UP!" Ichigo howled causing all the dogs in the area to follow in suit. The teen violently turned around and quickly got away from the mocking soft toy using shunpo.

Once away from the creature Ichigo tried to sense where the hollow might be but it was hard.

Shiro couldn't get to sleep because his idiot of a King was worrying so he went to check it out. When he did manage to calm Ichigo down Ichigo fell asleep and soon after so did Shiro. That was all. Ichigo thought about it over and over. It should've made sense but it didn't because of one thing.....

Just thinking about that one thing made Ichigo's cheeks change from the deep crimson to an even deeper scarlet. He shook his head. He had to find that hollow before it found him and his family. Using shunpo again moving him on quicker, he quickly tried to find the hollow desprately trying to put the image out of his head.  
An image of two eyes close to his face. Two black eyes, darker than an abyss with a golden jewel in each that had flecks and strands of orange intermingled with the golden tone of the iris which stood out because of a thin line of a light brownish orange that covered the rim of each golden jewel. But what made Ichigo keep thinking about the eyes was the fact that beyond their beauty was a deep sadness.......and fear.

****

The ice white lashes began to uncoil as a sleepy ice white figure began to open his eyes. The golden spheres locked in his black sockets looked at his surroundings. A desk with some books on it and a bag resting on a chair. There was also a lamp, not like this person had any idea or any motivation to operate it.

Where was he? This wasn't his King's inner world for sure. There weren't any buildings and old man Zangetsu was nowhere to be seen. No Zangetsu? Shiro liked this place already. But as he lifted his heavy body from the bed he saw something that would probably change his life.....

"I-Ichi-go?" the pale figure stuttered when he spotted a slumped body against the closet opposite the bed. He threw off the duvet and ran to the person. When he was closer he saw that the body was indeed Ichigo's. He collapsed to the ground, his legs giving way under him from shock. He touched the figure's face and lifted it so he could see his face more clearly. The boy's lips were dry, cracked and slightly parted. His eyes, however, were the worst thing Shiro had ever seen. Dull, the pupil small and they just looked well, dead. His fingers tightened around the boy's face and when the eyes stayed the same, just gazing at Shiro, gazing at _nothing_, the albino wouldn't, couldn't, accept that his Lord was.....gone. Shiro pulled the lifeless body closer hoping that maybe he would feel the orange haired teen's warm breath on his face like he did when he held Ichigo's face close to his before. But all the pale faced boy could feel was a soft cool breeze passing in between their faces. He felt sick, in his chest, it hurt........

"Hey Ichigo!"

Shiro's ears perked up. The pain in his chest lifted slightly.

"I'll make a deal with ya" the voice said, "you keep all the men busy and then I'll have all the women for myself! In return I won't tell a soul, dead or alive, about your little friend's visit"

The pain grew worse in Shiro's chest. What was this pain?

"Hey bastard are you even listening to me?"

Shiro got pissed off then at the nerdy little voice calling out. He stood slowly. The person, silent, realising something was deeply wrong. Shiro turned his head and glared at the stuffed lion. He raised an eyebrow, "What the fuck are you?"

"Y-You're n-not-t I--Ich-chi-ii-go" the lion stuttered rediculously.

When the albino realised that the thing could really see him the pain in his chest died away, "Damn right," said the albino an incredibly large and sick smile creeping up his jaw, "Gee, tha's one 'ell of a nasty st-st-stutter ya gots there. I know 'ow t' fix tha' right up for ya seein' as I'm feelin' s' generous". A sword slowly appeared on the ablino's back. He clutched the hilt as his smile got wider showing his white teeth, "I'll cut ya tongue out yer mouth!"

"Bastard!" the plushy lion shouted, "What are you? Hollow? Arrancar? Why have you got Ichigo's sword?"

The hollow looked as sympathetic towards the idiotic doll as he could but still sniggered.

_"What have you done to Ichigo?!"_

Shiro's grin died away and the pain in his chest returned, _~Did I do this to him?~_ the hollow thought.

_~Did I.....hurt him?~_

"Ah!"

Shiro recognised the voice instantly as his head spun around.

"Sorry Shiro, did Kon wake you?" a young orange haired teenager said looking at the star struck albino while sitting on the window ledge of the open window keeping his balance with one hand, and rubbing his orange hair with the other with an apologetic smile lining his lips.

Shiro's eyes were wide at the sight of seeing Ichigo.....alive. His chest no longer hurt. It burned and ached as soon as he heard Ichigo's voice. But _why?_ He hated all these feelings, and all he knew was that Ichigo was somehow controlling them. _WHY?_ Why was it him with so much power over him?

"Shiro?" Ichigo asked seeing that the albino had hung his head low so the shadow of his cold white hair was cast over his face. "Shiro?" Ichigo asked again more nervous as he slipped off the window ledge and onto the bed. When Shiro didn't reply he got off the bed and walked over to Shiro and reached out a hand and gently touched his inner hollow's upper arm. The place Ichigo had touched Shiro burned with pleasure and the hollow's head began screaming at Ichigo to increase the intimacy between them. The albino felt his cheeks burning so painfully he had to grit his teeth together. The red head noticed the albino's muscles tensing through his hand that was touching his arm. So taking a gentle hold of Shiro's other arm and looking at him in the face at last he asked, "Are you okay?"

It was too much.

"Fuck you King!" the albino took a sharp step back making Ichigo let go of his arms. His face at boiling point, his entire upper half shivering from the gentle warm touches he had received......Shiro wouldn't let him win, never!

"Shiro, tell me what's wrong!" the shinigami begged.

Nothing was wrong.....it was just all too right.

"I said: Fuck. You. Now just piss off King!"

As Shiro turned and walked the opposite way to Ichigo, clutching his arms, digging his black nails into his flesh through the sleeves of his own _white_ shinigami uniform, he began to fade away......

_**"He is fading from you. Bring him closer to you Ichigo"**_

"No! Shiro wait!!" shouted the boy reaching out a hand to stop the albino but it just slipped through him.

_**"He will help you...only he knows how"**_

"Please....wait........" Ichigo pleaded, but he had already gone......

****

As the albino boy blotted out his King's thoughts he jumped to his favourite spot in the inner world. It was the only place you could lie down and look _up_ at the sky. It was also where he used to tease his King the most. Today though he didn't know what he was going to do. He was tired after the ordeal with his majesty and curled up on top of a window on the one of many horizontal blue skyscrapers that made up his majesty's fucked up inner world. His eyes began to slowly close as he became so easily seduced by the idea of sleep.

"Shirosaki..." a calm voice said.

Shiro's eyes snapped open and he sat straight up to look at the long brown haired man standing infront of him. The man was tall with a thick stubble on his face and had a solemn expression. He was also wearing a pair of sunglasses that were tinted yellow and a large black coat that was torn and ragged at the edges.

"What the fuck do _you_ want, can't ya see I'm tryin' t' sleep!" the boy shouted at the tall man.

"I see you've returned...." the man said ingnoring the boy.

"I didn't go anywhere dumbshit!" Shiro glared at him.

"Have it that way if you wish Shirosaki...." the man replied.

Shiro looked at his reflection in the window he sat on, "Yer still here old man when ya plannin' on leavin'?"

"When I stop you from tormenting Ichigo" he replied sternly.

"Geez man, even _I_ get bored from doin' the same stuff over an' over. Give it a rest already..." the albino lied.

"Something has upset him".

"The sky's fine...."

"Is it?"

The albino rolled his eyes and hesitantly looked up. The sky was black, the clouds, grey; Shiro surely couldn't have upset him this much.

The man then said, "You have been teasing him Shirosaki, don't lie".

A large noise erupted throughout the land, thunder.

"Looks like this is going to be quite a storm" the man continued.

Why did it suddenly change like that?

"Why..." Shiro began but when he failed to finish the man answered the question for him.

"He was hiding his feelings"

Shiro looked at him, "From who? What?"

The man looked down at him as there was a flash of lightning, "From you".

Shiro looked at the sky and then at the man, "Zangetsu, why is he so upset why does he want to hide it from me?"

Zangetsu stayed silent. The hollow rose to his feet, "Tell me!".

"I don't know," the man said honestly.

"What?"

"You do..."

Shiro looked at him blankly. When he remembered it felt like a blade had stabbed through his chest.

"Shit!" he shouted ignoring the pain inside. He then turned and ran to get out of the inner world as fast as possible.

"Shirosaki!"

The albino turned, "What the fuck d' ya want now!"

"Hurry, it'll rain soon where he is" the man called, _"he hates the rain just like you...._so hurry!"

Shiro nodded, obeying Zangetsu's orders for once and galloped to his King......

****

The thunder was loud this year.....or maybe it was because the orange haired teen looking at his mother's grave was that close to tears for the first time in years. He still missed his mother. Not just the little things but everything about her because it was all gone....

Her smile, the way she said his name, the perfume she wore.....he sighed........

Then someone gripped his arm and he turned around. His eyes glowed with happiness.

"Shiro?"

The albino was breathing heavily and his cheeks were flushed, "Tha' 'er?" he panted looking at a photo in a plastic frame. The photo was of a beautiful woman with flowing light brown hair.

"Yeah..." the red head replied gazing at the photo.

"Shit...." Shiro cursed as he felt the rain soaking through his clothes.

"Do you hate the rain?" Ichigo asked the albino.

"Yeah I was hopin' I'd miss the rain if I came 'ere but that bastard was right." Shiro said looking at his clothes getting darker with the falling droplets increasing, "He also told me you 'ate the rain too, tha' true?"

"Yeah, it rained the day she died..." the teen said.

"Sorry I asked"

"It's okay...." the teen replied, "you were gonna find out one day"

"I guess"

"Does it rain in my inner world?"

"Already said it does loser" the albino replied with a cocky smile.

"When does it rain?" Ichigo asked.

The pale figure looked at Ichigo, still holding his arm, "When yer upset".

"Really?"

"....Yeah......."

Shiro felt the burning sensation creeping back into his chest. His fingers tightened around Ichigo's arm, and in responce, the red head looked down at the hand that had tightened it's grip. Shiro then realised he was still holding the arm and realised it taking a step back, his face begining to burn again.

_~Shit,shit,shit,shit~_

"Shiro," Ichigo said worried of a repeat of the night before, "did I do something?"

The demonic figure looked up at Ichigo, "Why are yer doin' this t' me Ichigo?"

The look of fear Ichigo had remembered was back, "Doing what?"

"What is it? Some sorta shinigami magic?". But all he got was a blank look from the teenager. "Please," he was desperate, "I don't care no more 'bout winnin' or losin' just quit fuckin' with me!" Tears yearning to split over his eye-lids and fall down his face, but Shiro wouldn't let them. Ichigo looked at his inner hollow shocked. The cold, sad allabaster statue standing in the rain close to a break down. The rain trickling down his body soaking his pure skin.

_**~....so white and pure...~**_

"Shiro....."

_**"Believe in him Ichigo, and he will believe in himself"**_

The seventeen year-old stepped towards the shivering albino nervously but Shiro didn't step away.

_**"Bring him closer to you Ichigo"**_

The teenager softly brushed his fingers against one of Shiro's clenched fists, resting his head on the albino's cold shoulder, whispering gently to him until the fist relaxed enough for him to slip his fingers in between the albino's.

_**"You must make him believe in his emotions, Ichigo"**_

_**~How when he has none?~**_

"Listen to yourself Shiro, want do you want?" the teen whispered.

_**"Believe in him Ichigo, and he will believe in himself"**_

With his spare hand the albino pushed Ichigo's head away from his shoulder and looked at him with the tears spilling down his face.

His lips curved sickly upwards to the dark thundering rain clouds overhead, "What d' I want?"

_**"Your protector...."**_

"Ya should know tha' by now, King..." the albino hissed. With one hand still on Ichigo's face he pulled the other away from his Lord's grip and rested it under the boy's chin. Then whilst pulling the red head closer he pushed his other hand into the vibrant strands that lay beyond the boy's jaw. Their lips connecting as soon as Ichigo's lips were pulled close enough to Shiro's, and in responce to the warm soothing touch the shinigami pulled the hollow closer and moved his own lips to make Shiro's tingle even more. The couple, both holding each other with the rain falling on their bodies, hard, drenching them, continued to grasp the other's lips with their own until they became too cold to move them.

The King clutched his Horse's white hair so that it threaded through his fingers.

The Horse holding his King tightly understanding just how powerful the pains in his chest were and just how much they meant to the both of them.

The shinigami held the hollow tighter, "My Horse....My lover...."

**"My....protector?"**

THE END

------

The last of my fics from dA! ^^

First ever fanfic, EVER. I think it was good, for a first, though it's not my best ^^' It also used to be in 3 parts though later on I stuck the parts together ^w^

Again this was from the lovely dA, Hiyori's cursing was fun to write XD She says such dirty things!!

**Original Author's Note: ** n/a


	2. MOSL: Omake Chapter!

Okay, this is a kind of sequel that I wrote for MOSL, but not really a proper one. After writing this I came up with ideas for _Powerless _and _Ohayou Sensei!_, speaking of which, I need to update _O.S_ . . . I probably won't though seeing as my head's obsessing over a completely different fic altogether XD It's called _Scars _and it's IchiHichi (yeah, Ichigo's a seme), 5 chaps long, AU, and full of angsty lovliness ;) I need to write it because . . . if I don't bad things might happen for keeping it inside of me . . . So tell me which you want first update on _O.S_ (albeit a short one) or _Scars?_

Anyway! We'll call this an omake chapter! (it sounds like a doujin now but oh well)

**Memories of Something Lost:**

_Omake: 'Did I Worry Ya?'_

The red haired teen walked along the corridor of his highschool budging through the students and teachers, trying to get to his next lesson.

It had been 3 weeks since the little moment between him and Shiro, infront of his mother's grave of all places, which was convieniantly interrupted by his idiot father who came to drag Ichigo out of the rain. He didn't see anything that made him suspicious though, thank god! Ever since that day Ichigo hadn't heard from or seen Shiro, it was like he was avoiding him. He told himself time and time again not to be stupid but then again Shiro the _hollow_ was in love with Ichigo the _shinigami._ Ichigo could tell that this wasn't going to work. Maybe the hollow was ashamed or still afraid of his emotions still. Also what the hell would happen to them if Soul Society found out. Well Ichigo and Shiro could easily kick their butts but the Vaizards wouldn't be happy and they were _nasty._

What was he going to do?

"Kurosaki-kun?"

The red head looked up and saw a sweet looking young girl with long flowing orange locks.

"Inoue, what's wrong?" he replied to the girl.

"Well," she gazed slowly at the ground, "it was the anniversary of your mother's death not so long ago and ever since then you've been acting........well, not like yourself Kurosaki-kun"

The subsitute shinigami looked the girl shocked that she even _knew_ of his mother's death never mind sense his worry.

"Did something happen, Kurosaki-kun....at the temple?"

The boy looked at her and smiled trying to not worry about Shiro for the time being knowing Inoue would sense it, but failing, "No Inoue everything's fine, thanks for worrying but there's no need, really I'm fine"

"Kurosaki-kun?" she said meekly.

"Yeah Inoue?"

"Why are you lying?"

Ichigo was shocked once more, how could Inoue know all of this just by looking at him?

"Inoue," he looked at her gently, "how--"

"He's lyin' coz he don't like ya! Now learn t' take a hint and a hike!"

Ichigo looked over his shoulder but he couldn't see anyone.

"Kurosaki-kun what's wrong?" Inoue asked knowing that Ichigo sensed something causing him to stop in mid-sentance.

"Nothing Inoue," he said still searching for the owner of the voice and half ignoring the girl, "I just thought I heard someone I know"

He turned back sadly to the girl. He could've sworn that voice was Shiro's.

The girl sensed his sadness, "Kurosaki-kun...."

"_Kurosaki-kun_" the same voice from before mimiked her squeaky tone of voice.

Before Ichigo could react a pair of pale arms wrapped around the shinigami's neck loosely and he felt a smooth touch and sudden warmth to his right cheek. His eyes flicked to see where the warmth was coming from and his eyes were met with the ones he had fallen in love with.

"Sorry," the handsome albino said with his usual sick grin plastered across his face, "old man Zangetsu wouldn't let me get in contact wi' ya". The albino began to let his pale lips trace down the boy's neck, "He thought I was gonna 'urt ya or somethin'"

The red head began to formulate an answer when he realised that Inoue was still standing infront of him and looking at the pleasured look on the teen's face.

"Kurosaki-kun what's going on?" she was confused by the way the teen had suddenly frozen due to the shock of Shiro hugging him and then his face turning from one of sadness to one of pure bliss.

Shiro paused his display of affection towards his lover and focused in on the girl, "Ichi? Can I kill 'er she's irritating"

Ichigo threw a dirty look towards Shiro who just rolled his eyes and sighed, "Okay wrong question, but can we at least get away from 'er though?"

The red head said nothing, he couldn't just start talking to himself!

The albino sighed again knowing why his lover was silent, "Ya shouldn't care what people think of ya Ichi," his arms moving from the boy's neck as his fingers began stroking slowly and suductively up and down the boy's chest, "Coz all tha' should matter Ichi is what _you and I_ think, got tha'?". The albino slowly blew air out of his mouth so that it brushed against the silky orange strands of Ichigo's hair causing then to dance in the warm breeze. He then allowed his hands to stop at Ichigo's collar and he slowly began to undo the teen's shirt revealing the black T-shirt below that covered his chest.

Ichigo's cheeks flushed a wild red as he quickly glanced at Inoue who was staring at the magically auto-strip clothing item that Ichigo seemed to be wearing.

"K-Kuro--"

"Sorry Inoue got to go see ya!" the boy ducked out of his invisable lover's grasp and sprinted down the hallway.

Shiro grinned even more as he watched his lover running away from the irritating girl who was now staring off into space. Just how he had planned, now he his lover had more of a chance to be _alone_ before Zangetsu came to pull the albino back into Ichigo's inner world.

"Wait for me my Strawberry!" he called after the blushing red head as he too began to sprint down the hallway.

And of course as he ran, he turned to glare at the girl who was still looking gormless. If he _ever_ caught her talking to Ichigo again her would gut her for sure.

END OF OMAKE.


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